a post about baby weight and weight in general

Another semester finished! I wonder what it would be like not going to school? Because, if you think about it, We've basically (with the exception of wade going on his mission) been going to school for our whole lives, non stop! School is life! Our work schedules haven't changed yet because school just barely ended, so neither of us had to work until 3 today and we were so confused after we woke up as to what to do...we went to the gym..cleaned the house...ate lunch..twice...ha ha it's just weird! I just cleaned off the bookshelves (we have 2) and I made a huge pile of binders and notebooks and books that we just can't keep in the house anymore! Loaded those things up and put them in a box in the shed!

Speaking of our shed, we just added 3 new things to it this week! Yesterday a lady at my work asked me if I wanted a glider/rocking chair! I basically told her, heck yes! And then she brought it by our house and didn't want anything for it!!? People are so nice! :) It's really nice wood and in really good condition. The first thing wade said when he saw it.."We're gonna stain that, and it's gonna look awesome!" So, thats that. And then today we bought a super cute Carseat/Stroller combo. :)

On another note, I went to the doctor today and met with a dietician. (my doctors office makes his patients do that once or twice during pregnancy)  That was fun. Kinda weird learning about food groups and all of that, like I wasn't already food conscious already! Last time I went in, the doctor was a little concerned because I lost 11 lbs during the first 2 months of my pregnancy because of nauseousness and all that, and then I only gained back two at four months. But I'm proud to tell all of you (proud, mostly because everyone keeps telling me I don't look pregnant or that I'm not even showing!), that since last month, I gained 9 pounds. Which actually freaked me right out and I got panicked, but then remembered that its a good thing...its a good thing. I'm actually right where I'm supposed to be according to some crazy line chart they made me look at on the computer today, so that is good....I think it's just hard sometimes. If you don't really know my story, I'll share it with you. Here we go...

Tijuana 2006

In middle school, I started gaining a lot of weight. I was happy and had a lot of friends and I hid behind humor a lot. I'm pretty funny, sometimes. I never let the weight bother me because people liked me. I had friends...good good friends who I probably owe everything in my life to! Then I got into high school, and I was still fat. But I still had friends, I still was successful in school, in church, at sports...I had confidence of some kind and was still fine. But I remember a girl talking to me in highschool about this guy and she told me he refered to me as the fat one in our group. And that hit me, like super hard. Because I couldn't be "fat" I had friends! It was almost like I was blindsided?! Sure, I had my days where I didn't like what I looked like, or I thought I needed to lose a little weight, but I never thought people REALLY cared. People are MEAN in high school, lets just say that. Sometimes it just doesn't matter who your friends are or what you surround yourself with, people are mean and sometimes you just can't do much. Anyways, since that comment, I started looking at myself differently, and started losing all confidence, if thats what you want to call it. I wore huge sweatshirts, but I would still get ready everyday and act like everything was okay. And that was the year I transferred schools, so I had my friends that I played volleyball with and I thought I had more friends, but I started to get down, and realized that maybe I only have a couple? i don't know that year was such a blur...but that was the year I got a gym membership

Junior Year

And I loved to go to the gym. I would go to the gym and work out before school, and then come home and eat eggo waffles for breakfast, and go to school and have nachos for lunch and who knows what the heck I would eat for dinner. Everything, because I "worked" out and so I "earned" it. yeah.

I maybe lost like 10 lbs, between my sophomore year and senior year of high school. MY senior year I lost a little more weight, but nothing that really stayed off, or was noticeable to anyone. I didn't understand proper eating and I didn't understand interval training, and I didn't know how to work hard at the gym, I just went because I needed to. 

freshman year

I remember going dress shopping and not fitting into a size 16 because it wouldnt zip up past my mid back. But my family loved me and never told me I needed to lose weight or told me to go to the gym more, or eat less...Which I'm still debating if that was a good thing or not. It might have helped, but at the same time, I think I was so sensitive about the subject it could have broke me. So I don't know!

junior year (big hair!)

 But then I somehow found Wade and got married and I talk to him a lot about my weight and he knows EVERYTHING. I remember when we first got married, we were at a hotel and there was a fitness room that we were walking by and he said lets weigh ourselves! (ummm how about no!!) and i got this sick feeling in my stomach and tried to fight it and was so embarrassed and wouldn't do it. Why? Because, A) girls just don't like scales, and B) Umm...pretty sure I weighed more than him.. I never wanted to feel like I had to hide anything, and I realized that I'm married to him and one way or another, one year or another he's going to find out my weight...? (duh) and that moment pretty much flipped my life around. hardcore, people! There comes a time where you just get sick of everything and need a change, a REAL one

sophomore year (What the heck is up with the hair, again??)

And I did weigh more than him, by probably 14 (so approximate, I know) and decided at that moment that something SERIOUS had to be done. So I posted on my blog (I love this thing, seriously!) and told everyone that I was going to lose 25 pounds in 6 months, which is a highly attainable goal. And then I reached it. Because I worked hard and ate right and it felt good. And I kept it off for the next 8 months. And then I found out about little peanut!!

And really, I'm glad that I'm 30 lbs lighter now that I'm pregnant, and if things go the way the doctor says, I should be lighter at 40 weeks pregnant than I was last January, which is kind of crazy to think about. Life would be so much harder had I not lost this weight, and who knows if I would have even gotten pregnant then? Or how healthy my pregnancy or my little babe would be? So when I hear the doctor tell me that I gained 9 pounds, it does totally freak me out. But then I remember that I'm still kickin' it at the gym 3-5 times a week and running 3-4 miles at a time. I'm healthy, and the baby is healthy, and weight it just a number until August! I miss being able to work out intense like I used to, and see new (lower) numbers on the scale, and I miss finding new workouts on pinterest, and joining fit groups and work out class (no kangoo while pregnant, saddest day ever when I found that out!) If anything though, I just get excited for August to come so I can meet my little babe and kick butt again! I realized that there are worse things in than stretchmarks, which some have warned me about through pregnancy. I've had them since I was probably 13 so getting a couple during pregnancy wouldn't hurt anything...:) So it's good.. Life is good, as always. 

So sometimes, I might complain about my weight, but it's only because i worked hard to lose it & then see the scale creep up is sometimes hard. But I really wouldn't have it any other way. So thankful for this little peanut & this pregnancy has been a miracle! Can't believe i'm growing a human! Such a blessing in Wade and I's lives and this is just the beginning! :) 

(whew, that was a long post!)