procrastination at its absolute WORST

Lets talk about the worlds biggest procrastinator. I mean, I was going to say the worlds worst procrastinator, but I feel like in this sense if you're the best OR the worst in this category, you totally win, either way. So basically I'm both. But I settled to say Biggest because I need to add some more emphasis. ANYWAYS

I'm not much of a planner, which I feel like is going to kick my booty when I start teaching. Don't get me wrong though, I love being organized, and I love having a planner and planning things. But if I don't feel it to be necessary, I just don't do it? Does that make any sense? In school, I would play first, homework last. I thrived on deadlines, I liked the pressure of trying to finish a paper before the midnight deadline on learn. I think it was just because I knew that I really didn't have any other choice, because it HAD to be done by that time...But somehow it worked for me.

So when you get into the ElEd program at BYU-Idaho, you are required to take your basic general ed classes (basic math, science, humanities, etc), your basic el ed method classes (how to teach certain subjects) and then you have to pass a series of required tests. These required tests are so that you can get your certification and be eligible to teach after you graduate. You have a writing exam, which they give you a prompt and you basically have to write two paragraphs and then they send it to the state and some super important person grades it and if you get a good score, you pass..and if not, you retake again and again until you pass. These can be tricky because a different person grades them every time! You also have to take a spelling test, which is really easy, its pretty much a bunch of homophones and you have to listen and spell the correct word...and then there's the math diagnostic tests.

just typing that makes me cry.
not really.
no, yeah, it does.

so the three math diagnostic tests are just that. Three tests. Not multiple choice. On the computer. Proctored. 10-15 questions. So basically if you miss like a negative sign...or put the exponent carrot (^) in the wrong spot...you're SOL(that means so outta luck in my book), sister. So the first one isn't bad at all..its just basic algebra, you know..and then it really just goes downhill from there. Like I passed the second test BARELY. It was dang hard and I spent many many many hours in the tutoring center studying for it. Many = 50+. And the third one...I went to study for it, and I had literally never seen that kind of math before? It was bad. So I tried to study for it, but when you don't live near the tutoring center, and you have a baby, and you're in the process of moving...it just gets rough. So I decided to just take a class for it instead. You can take a class and it will just override the requirement..it just seemed easier..But the only thing about it, is that the class has 100 assignments, 100 quizzes, & 5 tests, and my professor e-mailed me and told me I had to have the class done before I could student teach. I was student teaching in January, and e-mailed him Thanksgiving break. So you can bet on it that EVERYTIME Ivy was napping, I was doing lesson after lesson after lesson. I took all the tests, did okay on them...and was able to student teach because my professor saw that I was working hard to complete the course. At this point, I had a 90% on my quizzes and a 88% on my assignments! But I still had the final comprehension test. I was too nervous to take it because if I didn't pass the final, I didn't pass the class, which means I don't get to have a real teaching job because I wouldn't have my certificate.

Sad.

So I basically gave myself stress and anxiety for 5 months. I didn't take the final for 5 months!! I would dream about the final test, I would wake up in the middle of the night & not go back to sleep because I was worried about it. I would think about it constantly during the day. Procrastination at its finest.

Well, then I got hired. And they asked me for my certification. And I told them it was coming...so I knew I had to buckle down and take the stupid test, which initially gave me even more anxiety. yeah. me, anxiety!  But...I had waited for so long, that I couldn't remember what I had taught myself during the course. I had whipped through the assignments and quizzes so fast that I couldn't remember anything. I went and took the test anyways.

It was proctored at the testing center and I was the only one in the small room and I was so nervous, my eyes started doing weird things and I couldn't focus. I would look at the problem and tell myself I never learned that, and I would look at the next and the next problem and panic because nothing looked familiar. It was the weirdest thing. So obviously I cried when I turned it in and hoped for the best. I waited with anxiety for a week until they posted my score.

And completely bombed it. So all my hard work doing the assignments & quizzes was wasted.

But then I got an e-mail from the professor over the certification department who was aware of my situation, somehow. I don't know how she found out, but she was seriously such a blessing. She mentioned that she saw my grades on my homework and quizzes and said she would wave my test scores because of the effort I had put in & my homework & quiz scores showed I knew the material &  to submit my application for my certification.

When I read that e-mail, I swear that 20 pounds was lifted from my shoulders! I put my head in my hands and just cried as I said a prayer of gratitude! It was such a relief to have that dang test/class/requirement out of the way! There needs to be some other way to prove to the department that you are eligible to be a teacher, because seriously! These math tests have stressed me to the max..

Anyways, long story short, I'm going to be a 6th grade teacher at Cloverdale Elementary! I'm so excited and nervous and...ready to have my own classroom..my own kids! It's going to be tough, but I am ready!