![..karly from [kar plus[+] wade]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_tHjNMsJVGiPuhbbXOM4peGr0syNQR-E5Tc6zE6FGyKHcvUoA0T_44YmtkZ5xZlN03QGjzxzvE5X304NhBlqoDDV031wNeY8mi3b5Dp8JpMM75ygfHfSWNnTZM6UYL3IqLj2qPf55Z8a-Dx_HIUZg=s0-d)
i've been thinking about this a lot, not because i'm pregnant, but because together, wade and i know 9 people who are pregnant. that is crazy. not saying we are best friends with all 9 of them, but we are close with about 5, and we are friends with the other 4.
then, i start reading other's blogs who are complaining about how sick they are, how tired they get, how they are worried about gaining weight, getting stretch marks, the list goes on. i feel like shaking some people. . those things are the very first step to realizing that the next 18 years of your life is no longer about you. this doesn't go to say that you have to lie when people ask how you are, or that you have to blog about how awesome pregnancy is going when it's clearly not going well. i just feel like some say how their feeling because that is what is expected, because they can. Be honest about how you feel, but mentioning it every time you post an update, status, text, ect is what i'm sad about, i guess? and maybe sad's not the word.
you're carrying a human and you've created a miracle.
i feel like since we hit the year mark of being married back in november, there's this added pressure to be pregnant. More people are asking when we are "thinking about having kids" when we are "planning on being pregnant" if we are "waiting til we are done with school." these are such a personal questions to me, i guess i don't understand that if you're not close to me, why ask? what if i replied back with, "we've been trying," or a "we don't know if we can."?
you're carrying a human and you've created a miracle.
i feel like since we hit the year mark of being married back in november, there's this added pressure to be pregnant. More people are asking when we are "thinking about having kids" when we are "planning on being pregnant" if we are "waiting til we are done with school." these are such a personal questions to me, i guess i don't understand that if you're not close to me, why ask? what if i replied back with, "we've been trying," or a "we don't know if we can."?
i do understand that very pregnancy is different.
millions of women do it every year, 133 million at this very second.
and million's of them make it through.
i'd like to read more about the amazing things that happen through pregnancy
the things husbands do for their wives during their weak moments
the food that's being craved during it all.
how you love not having a period ;)
the feelings.
and less about the headaches, the nausea, the stretch marks and the potty breaks
[maybe leave that last one in, those get funny ;)]
i wrote the above in a blog post in the beginning of january, but never published it because i didn't feel validated. i didn't feel like i know what it's like to be pregnant, so i couldn't really have an opinion. But, today i came across sam's blog post from youngpeopleinlove, and decided to hit publish. not because i'm pregnant, but because hearing the same perspective from someone who is, was enlightening and i wanted too wanted to share my thoughts.
what are yours?
10 comments:
i can totally see your point. but, pregnancy is really hard. and writing on their own blog about how their pregnancy is going, even if that means saying they really tired or sick doesn't bother me one bit. Admitting that it's hard doesn't mean that they wish they weren't carrying that little miracle. it just means they are trying to be real about the situation instead of putting on a front like so many other bloggers do. i've had a really hard time these past few months, and i wouldn't trade them for anything. but it was still really hard.
but i can totally see how this could come off as silly or inconsiderate, especially if someone had been trying to get pregnant for a while.
those are my thoughts.
love you kar!
I agree 97.5%. I can understand complaints about nausea or headaches (though I still hate them) but when girls complain about weight gain or stretch marks, I seriously want to reach over and slap them. Seriously. Kudos to you for voicing it. I do enough pregnancy rants, so I'll just agree with yours =)
I totally think the kids question is so personal. I could never bring myself to ask that question and it drives me nuts when people ask me. So many unknown factors there. Awesome post, well worded!
it was seriously so crazy how many people in our student ward were pregnant, at one time, there were 16! when we were trying to get pregnant sometimes i would be sad inside when i read other girls' blog about their pregnancy experience and wished it could be me, but yet their blogs really did help me to know what i could expect and that somewhat prepared me. i think blogging about some of what you're going through is ok. it's fun to blog about the pregnancy cravings and the teary moments but i don't need to hear every little thing you barfed up. and gurrrlllllll you and wade will have a dang baby when you're ready. if annoying people ask just say, "no not right now, but we sure do have fun pretending we're gonna make a baby!"
I was not feeling well one Sunday last month and made the mistake of saying so...immediately 4 PEOPLE asked if I was pregnant. *sheesh!* I know the feeling of "When is another baby coming...isn't it time you were pregnant?!" It's kindof annoying. Really annoying, really. Maybe I just want my body to have a break for once. Ya know?! My little bro and his wife just found out they cannot have children, and I don't even know what to say to them....I pray and fast for them, and I feel so sad...so I'm sure me complaining about my kids really hurts them. IDK. I just know that it's nobody's business but yours, your husbands, and Gods.
{{hugs!!!}}} ♥♥♥
came across your blog from another and I have mixed feelings..let me explain. First of all, I am a horrible pregnant person- vomit almost the entire pregnancy (even with meds), migraines and my babies are always too big for me so there is a lot of pain with just moving/working/sleeping (esp near the end) and i don;t cope with it well. Second, pregnancy is hard for many women. It is so difficult for us as humans (generally selfish by nature) to not complain. We take WAY too much for granted. Third, I am a labor & delivery nurse. I have seen it all. I have seen women do everything in their power to stay pregnant (bedrest the entire pregnancy, hospitalized for weeks just to keep their little one inside for one more day, etc) I have seen 40+ year old women struggle through a pregnancy after multiple losses just to have one sweet, perfect child. I have seen women lose their babies after 9 months of pregnancy who would give ANYTHING for that vomit, migraine or pain. I think, unfortunately it is generally in our nature to "complain" and take that amazing little gift from God for granted while they are in our bellies but I think your post is a wonderful reminder of why we should appreciate that miracle.
Seriously...having no periods is the best. I'm just putting this out there.
Sometimes when I'm on my period I wish I was pregnant, and that's saying a lot.
I really understand your "sadness" as you say. It is hard to hear all the negative about pregnancy. But in retrospect, the morning sickness...for 9 months...really really sucks. But I agree, no one wants to know what your lunch tasted like the second time.
Pregnancy is a huge miracle and I wish that more people could understand that and reflect on that more. Or just be grateful. Or just don't talk.
And Alyssa wasn't kidding, I was one of the 16 impregnated girls in our student wards. It. Was. Crazy. Lots of hormones goin on in relief society...
Kids are the best blessing ever... But it's also the hardest thing I've ever done. It can take a lot to change that mindset of our world revolving around us and how we feel or what we have to do to revolving around someone else all the time. I agree with everything you said, but I just wanted to stress that it's ok to say that it's hard and sometimes not very fun to be pregnant :) I was sick and in and out of the hospital with my last one... But it was still a wonderful miracle to be pregnant (and still hard!)
i love this post! good job being brave enough to post it!!
Sometimes it is hard to want to have babies/be prego cuz of all the negative things i hear about it!! I don't mind the complaining cuz i get that it can suck and be hard and that blogging about it can be a good outlet for dealing with it, i just wish they would throw in a positive blog post/status update/text along with the negative! =)
So first, seriously don't feel pressure to rush and get preggo. I remember we started trying after a year of being married and didn't even get pregnant until almost a year and a half later. I would kinda get frustrated when people would ask but I have womanly health issues and its just not easy for me and I don't have a sign displaying that so I really shouldn't ever get annoyed. People don't know. The plus side to my womanly health issues is lack of period anyway so I just enjoy that part like a billion times more when I'm pregnant. But (sorry for tmi) I bleed enough after the baby to probably make up for those missed periods (curses). I know I do my fair share of complaining. It really does suck when it feels like someone is stabbing you in the side and the pain doesn't stop. It's just consistent for about 2 days and sometimes prescription pain killers don't even put a dent in it (though they knock me out like nyquil or something). But even with it all I keep thinking, I wonder when I'm going to do this again? I'm already looking forward to being pregnant again despite all the hard times. It's all worth it and I consider this one my little miracle baby because seriously... how did I get pregnant on my own? The numbers don't add up to me but dang it I did it! Must just have been the right time :)
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